Ain't afraid to die
by Lafiel-un-Weisheit
Summary: This is a song fic using Dir en gray's song. Ryoko is starting ot wonder if tenchi really loves her? R


Ain't afraid to die A Tenchi Muyo song fic.  
  
(Written by: Supervillain_catgirl)  
  
Ryoko glimpsed out of the window, it was raining. This did not surprise her. It had been raining non-stop for days now. This made her even more depressed. For the one she loved had shown no affection to her but had pushed her out of the way as if she was nothing. Tenchi was at collage and wouldn't be back until Christmas break. Everyday she would glimpse out of that window hoping he would come home to her once again. But would he? Ryoko knew that she lived in a house with other women just as eligible as her. She had been competing for a year now for his love but had gotten no result. "What do I not have? What does he want?" she often asked herself in shame. "Why doesn't he love me?" was the biggest question running through her head at the time. Was she not good enough? Or perhaps he didn't like women like her? Did she need to straighten up her hair or learn manners? Yet another hear trenching question went through her head. "Is it worth this much pain to be loved by this person so badly? Does he really love me? Or am I just making this up because I'm lonely?" These were questions of great meanings. Did he really love her? Before she had met him she was a person who brought fear and pain into peoples life. She was lonely and had no one to run to. But then this wonderful person is blessed into her life that is actually worth living for. But was he? Was he that someone? Why dose he push her away? Is it because he loves her?  
  
The way that I used to walk with you is gone But still, I always walked with you, I wonder if I'll ever be able to meet You  
  
The snow falls gently on a hill Even though I can't reach you, I understand The flower in your room that you loved is now...  
  
The day of last years final snow The promises that were hard to exchange When I remember them, they melt, and spill from my hands  
"Surely this cannot true" she often kid herself in her most depressed time. She wanted to believe that but part of her didn't. Part of her thought that he really didn't love her. That he was just paying with her heart and emotions like dolls. He probably thinks that someone like her can't have feelings such sincere and deep as this. But sure enough she did. She had feelings so deep that she had to encourage them to burn brightly and show the love she had for him. But now she was afraid. Afraid that her feelings would get hurt like they have already. But she could not just abandon these feelings so deep and pure. No, she loved him. But did she really? She had been saying she did for quite sometime now but with no response. He never wrote her or called. He had left her behind and didn't come back. He was now moving on in his life, without her. What she had feared the most had finally come. He doesn't need her anymore. In fact he never needed her. He just wanted to hurt her. But nonetheless she loved him. And that was something she could not hide. Love is such as strong word. We use it but we don't always mean it. It can be used for clothing or food. Jewelry or items we own. But the strongest love of all was used for family or that special someone. Love is a wonderful feeling that can bring joy and happiness into your life. But it can also bring hatred, sadness, and dis-pleasure of all sorts. Love what was love? Did she really know?  
  
The snow falls gently on a hill Even though I can't reach you, I understand The flower in your room that you loved is now...  
  
All alone by the window, just staring at the snow While remembering you, seeing you in the glass I give you a final kiss  
  
Come on, smile, don't cry anymore From here on, I'll always be watching you  
Yes, or at least she thought she had. But now thinking back she just started to wonder if what she called her love for Tenchi was nothing more than a cry for attention. All these things confused her. Why was she here in this house? Why wasn't she back in space where she belonged? She could always wait for Tenchi in hopes he had the same feelings for her as she had for him. But what good would that do? What if she ended up waiting for the rest of her life? Would she forever want something she could not have? But maybe, just maybe she could make something of herself. There was a whole universe out there just waiting to be explored. Was it worth staying here to give up all of that? All her life she had always wanted to explore the universe and it's wonders top get away from it all. Growing up a life of loneliness wasn't easy. But now just when she thought she was happy she was suddenly feeling the feeling of loneliness again. Ryoko had now made up her mind. It wasn't worth it anymore. Tenshi was happy without her. He had friends and a family who cared. But that family would no longer involve her.  
  
The snow falls gently on a hill Even though I can't reach you, I understand The flower in your room that you loved is now...  
  
A light that quietly begins to color the inside of the town white You saw the season's final colors  
  
The sound of the tears that fell is cruel isn't it You saw the season's final colors  
  
The four seasons, and your colors, will soon vanish The snow melts, and flowers bloom on the street corner The "colors" that you saw, softly begin to melt  
  
(A single flower on the street corner When I look up into the sky, the final snow melts from my hand)  
  
And there Ryoko walked away from that house with her trusty companion, Ryo oh ki. But not leaving to escape or forget but to cherish those memories that she will now leave behind. But they'll always have the rain. And as she walked of she whispered "Goodbye Tenchi.." 


End file.
